Entry #4 Intense self loathing
I have a very serious issue. Well I have quite a few issues but I'm focusing on one in particular. I heavily dislike myself. This isn't a medical condition, at least as far as I'm aware. Though I haven't been tested by a professional so take what I say with a grain of salt. But, irrespective of a diagnosis of a recognized condition, I still harbor these feelings. Most of the time things are relatively fine, but occasionally something will remind me of all of my failure, and the sadness with come flooding in. And it happens before I'm consciously aware and so mounting a preemptive response is seemingly impossible. Even now it's hard to talk about this. Partly because of how it makes me feel, but also because it's hard to put into words. Everyone makes mistakes, right? Even if you're clumsy, you shouldn't feel ashamed. But when I try to bring up my concerns, they often get shut down. So I have no idea what the parameters of these feelings are. I'v...